twispitefic

Title: The Great Twilight Rewrite
Author: Neathra
Fandom(s): The Twilight Series
Rating: Teen
Word Count: 9,444
Inspiration: Both MovieBob's "How Bob would Fix Batman (Link), and Mother's Basement's "Fixing Alfheim - The Worst Part of SAO" (Link)
Warnings: Through the rewrite process, I’ve toned down a lot of the creepy factor, but it might still be there, so to be safe, if it’s a warning about the Twilight Series, It’s a warning about this.
Summary: This is a rewrite of Twilight, that aims to take the piece that Stephanie Meyer gave us, and build a version where the characters aren't mean, stupid, victim's of authorial whim, or some combination of the above. My friend challenged me to create this after we watched Youtuber Mother's Basement's video "Fixing Alfhiem" (Which you should watch Now... Go, I'll wait).

Its certainly no Lord of the Rings, but I hope that I have created a fun, fluffy, wish fulfillment story. Link

melissatreglia

Title: Lions Eat Lambs
Author: Raggdolly
Fandom(s): Twilight/The Most Dangerous Game (implied)
Rating: R or NC-17, depending on how strong your stomach is.
Word Count: ~45,000
Warnings: Vampire violence, strong language, some sensuality.
Summary: "A camping expedition goes awry when Bella's friends disappear. While searching for them, she stumbles upon the manor of Edward Cullen, unaware that she is about to become a pawn in his dangerous game - a game she can't afford to lose. AU/OOC/Vamp & Human/"Darkward"" -- Raggdolly

Note from Reccer: I'm recommending this for those who prefer dangerous/nasty/bloodthirsty vampires, particularly those folks who find Edward's "vigilante" days more believeable than his love for Bella. If you believe Edward is a complete psycho and wished he'd just OWN THAT SHIT, this'll be right up your alley.

Read "Lions Eat Lambs" here.

marienomad.livejournal.com

Title: Masks
Author: light4dawn
Fandom(s): Twilight
Rating: T
Word Count: 8,000
Summary: This is a realistic version of what happens after the happy ending. What happens after Breaking Dawn? Did Jacob really forget all about his tribe, his pack and his love for Bella because he imprinted on her daughter? Is Renesmee truly the key to Jacob's happiness? Can Jake and Bells really still be friends?

kermit-thefrog.livejournal.com

Title: More
Rating: PG
Warning: Mpreg
Summary: My speculation on what might have happened if Edward had gotten pregnant, not Bella. Not a funny story.
Word Count: 1703
Disclaimer: SMeyer's. Not mine.

( "More" )

melissatreglia

Title: Normal Guy vs. Edward Cullen vs. Lord James Grey the Cat
Author: Melissa Treglia (gnosticdiva)
Fandom: Twilight
Rating: PG
Word Count: 816
Author's Note: Lord James Grey is my Mum's cat (we usually just call him "James"). He's a beautiful purebred Russian Blue that I rescued off the street. His name was her idea, not mine (I wanted to call him Squeaky McSqueakerson, because of the cries he makes, but I was vetoed).

Summary: Yet another "Normal Guy" vs. Edward Cullen comparison--this time, with my mom's adorable, sweet and fluffy cat.

( A regular guy, a sparklepire and a housecat walk into an LJ post... )

melissatreglia

Title: Normal Guy vs. Edward Cullen vs. Griffin Blasko
Author: Melissa Treglia (gnosticdiva)
Fandom: Twilight/original series
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 728
Warning: Brief language.
Author's Note: Griffin Blasko is the hero from the vampire novel I co-wrote with a friend. He's a special (and rare) breed of vampire known as the Pureblood (which is basically an ubervamp bred as a living weapon). His human girlfriend, Laila Chadevsky, is a nice Jewish girl who's very supernatural-savvy and is often the voice of reason in his messed up life (in a nutshell, she's Grade-A anti_bella material). Together, they fight crime!

Summary: Yet another "Normal Guy" vs. Edward Cullen comparison--this time, featuring the Pureblood vampire Griffin Blasko.

( The things Griffin would do for his girl, Laila... )

albion-witch.livejournal.com

Title: Born of Vampire and Human
Author: albion_witch
Fandom(s): Twilight: Breaking Dawn
Rating: A light PG
Word Count: 1398
Inspiration: Various discussions on what if Renesmee wasn’t born the perfect special little snowflake and instead was more monstrous-looking.
Summary: There is absolutely no way to predict how vampire and human genes are going to mix. Bella, just because vampires are beautiful to you doesn’t mean that when you mix them with humans, something equally beautiful will pop out. -Mervin, Breaking Dawn: Chapter 10 (part 1) sporking.

( This was not my golden red-haired boy or the chocolate-haired girl I used to be )

melissatreglia

Because it had to be posted at some point, and it might as well be me.

If you haven't read the Growing Up Cullen LJ-RP series yet, I think now is a good time to come out from under that rock you've been hiding. This series should be required reading for anyone who is anti-Twilight. Ratings-wise, I would consider it PG-13 due to some language and sexual humour.

Part 1: I like how we turned Edward into a 40 year old mother on a bad day.
http://balcarin.livejournal.com/462027.html

Part 2: YES, I AM DOING THAT "EMO BULLSHIT," I CAN FEEL IF I WANT TO
http://balcarin.livejournal.com/462772.html

Part 3: STOP TWIRLING THE POOL STICKS, THEY ARE NOT TOYS! YOU DON'T GROW BACK EYES, EMMETT.
http://balcarin.livejournal.com/463133.html

Part 4: I feel totally validated that Growing Up Cullen is canon thanks to the Midnight Sun leak.
http://balcarin.livejournal.com/468348.html

Part 5: Growing Up Cullen: Christmas with the Cullens
http://balcarin.livejournal.com/494218.html

Bonus: Growing Up Cullen icons
http://balcarin.livejournal.com/463630.html

Enjoy!

ETA (8/6/19): The LJ account that hosted GUC is long gone now, so here's the entire series in PDF: Get from Dropbox

melissatreglia

Title: Debate Fic: Nick Knight vs. Edward Cullen
Author: Melissa Treglia (aka

gnosticdiva)
Fandoms: Twilight/Forever Knight
Word Count: 1470
Rating: PG
Inspiration:

marienomad's debate!fic series, obviously. I just couldn't help but get into the act, by pitting my favourite good-guy-with-fangs against the sparklepire we all love to hate.
Warnings: Some anti-human sentiments (as per Twilight's canon). Major spoilers for both series. Some shout-outs to some of my favourite anti-Twilight fic, too.

Summary: Nick and Edward discuss their similarities... and their very clear differences.
( It's not a lifestyle choice. It's choosing to murder or choosing not to. )

marienomad.livejournal.com

Title: Edward vs. Tony
Author: MarieNomad
Fandom(s): Iron Man and Twilight
Rating: PG
Word Count: 900
Inspiration: Edward in Twilight
Warnings: None
Summary: Set after Pepper vs. Bella. Edward and Tony talk about redemption and dealing with women. Also, how to fend off telepathy.
Disclaimer: Tony Stark belongs to Marvel Comics. Edward Cullen belong to Stephanie Meyer.

Current Mood: amused

marienomad.livejournal.com

Title: Blissful Forever
Author: light4dawn
Fandom(s): Twilight
Rating: T
Word Count: 2,126
Warnings:
Summary: Breaking Dawn is over, and Bella can show Edward her thoughts. The first time, Bella exerted a lot of effort to show Edward how much she loved him, but what was it like the second time she let her shield down? What would Edward see if he could read her at will and not just the thoughts she wanted to show him?
Reccer's Notes: This is yet another Bella's Mind is a horrible thing to read fic. It was rather tragic. It is currently E/B but supports B/J but Bella didn't see it.

Current Mood: distressed

mibamonster.livejournal.com

Title: Bellatrix vs Edward
Author: Mibamonster
Fandom(s): Twilight & Harry Potter
Rating: G? PG-13?
Word count: 1142
Inspiration: The meadow scene in Twilight.
Warnings: Character death
Summary: During the meadow scene, Bellatrix Lestrange pops up for a little chat. Beginning comes from Twilight, p. 231-2

( Read more... )

mage-apprentice.livejournal.com

Title: Normal Guy vs Edward Cullen vs Zelos Wilder
Author: mage_apprentice
Word Count: 835
Fandom: Twilight, Tales of Symphonia
Rating: PG-13
AN: I promise, this is the last Normal Guy vs Edward Cullen fic I'm gonna do (at least for a very long time).

( What's the difference between a rich gentleman like Edward and a rich gentleman like Zelos? Well, one of them has fun with life. )

ranguvar33

(Mervin, sorry about forgetting the cut last time. I do know how to do them, I promise. ;)]

Title: Normal Guy vs Edward Cullen vs Robert Carmon

Author:

ranguvar42

Fandom: Twilight

Summary: Another parody of The Normal Guy vs Edward Cullen using two characters from my upcoming novel. Robert is a werewolf and Maeve is his wife.

Word Count: 555

Rating: PG

( Eddie Stinks.. )

Current Mood: bouncy

marienomad.livejournal.com

Title: It's Mine Now
Author: X5-452
Word Count: 2,255
Summary: Twenty years after Breaking Dawn. Leah gets some unexpected and unwanted visitor's one night. But this is her life now.
Characters: Leah, Jacob, Embry, Bella, Edward, and Charlie
Genre: Famly/Drama
Notes: This is an wonderful take on how much Bella missed when she became a vampire. There's this very sad scene that really highlighted it.

Current Mood: contemplative

mage-apprentice.livejournal.com

Title: Normal Guy vs Edward Cullen vs Daisee the Dog
Author: mage_apprentice
Fandom: Twilight
Rating: G
Word Count: 657
Summary: Another parody of that stupid Normal Guy vs Edward Cullen comparison. The love of a dog knows no bounds.
Note: Daisee is my sister's dog and is a pomeranian/chihuahua crossbreed. My sister named her, not me . . . Also, for some reason, the rich text options are cut and I can't preview or switch between rich text and HTML settings. I also can't select tags even if I press the button for some reason. What's with you, LJ?

( A Dog's Love Surpasses All )

Current Mood: annoyed

ranguvar33

Author:

ranguvar42

Fandoms: Twilight/Dark Shadows

Rating: PGish.

Word Count: 1,076

Inspiration: My love of Dark Shadows and hatred of Twilight. Barnabas is an emo vampire done right.

Summary: Barnabas Collins meets Edward Cullen, and we see the difference between a real vampire and whatever the hell Eddie is. VERY Anti-Twilight.

A/N:. In terms of timelines, this takes place after Breaking Dawn for Deadward. As for Barnabas….just assume he found another way to travel to the future. Séance, staircase, Delorean…your choice. Also, he's whatever version of Barnabas you want

Story can also be found on ff.net: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7925250/1/Just_Desserts

( Collins, meet Cullen. )

Current Mood: exanimate

afterandalasia.livejournal.com

Title: Friends on the Other Side
Author:

afterandalasia
Fandom(s): Twilight, Princess and the Frog
Rating: PG
Word Count: 915
Inspirations: In all honesty, a dream. On more serious levels, the sneakiness of Dr. Facilier in Princess and the Frog.
Summary: In New Orleans, Bella meets a man who promises to read her future. She neglects to ask after the fine print...

( Friends on the Other Side )

marienomad.livejournal.com

Title: You Could be Good For Me
Author: The 13th Fairie
Fandom: Twilight
Rating: T
Characters: Bella, Edward, Charlie and Jacob
Summary: After they return from Italy, Bella doubts Edward's love. What will she do?

This is one of those 'Bella realizes what a jerk Edward really is' fics. It's pretty good and had Bella pointing out why Edward doesn't really love her. She was honest with herself and look in herself. I enjoyed that.

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We're filled with spite and we like to write.

Entries tagged with character: edward cullen

The Great Twilight Rewrite

Fic Rec: Lions Eat Lambs

Fic Rec: Masks

Fic: More

Normal Guy vs. Edward Cullen vs. Lord James Grey the Cat

Normal Guy vs. Edward Cullen vs. Griffin Blasko

Born of Vampire and Human

Sunspot

Fic Rec: Growing Up Cullen

Debate Fic: Nick Knight vs. Edward Cullen

Debate fic: Edward vs. Tony

Fic rec: Blissful Forever

Bellatrix vs Edward

Normal Guy vs Edward Cullen vs Zelos Wilder

Normal Guy VS Edward Cullen VS Robert Carmon

Fic Rec: It's Mine Now

Normal Guy vs Edward Cullen vs Daisee the Dog

Spite Fic: Just Deserts

Spite Fic: Friends on the Other Side

Fic Rec: You Could Be Good For Me

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January 2019

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