Title: The Perfect Boyfriend: Take Two
Author:
gnosticdivaFandom(s): Twilight/Forever Knight/Pirates Of The Caribbean/Sweeney Todd/X-Men
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1764
Inspiration:
lisaerin's sporking of the "Normal Guy vs. Edward Cullen" list. A "sequel" to
blueinkedpalm's "
The Perfect Boyfriend".
Summary: Tweaks the original comparison between the normal guy and the needy/clingy creep Edward Cullen. Also edited to include some of my favorite male characters; the perfectly sweet but of-few-words Nick Knight from
Forever Knight, the indescribable Jack Sparrow from the
Pirates of the Caribbean movie series, the dark and malevolent legendary Sweeney Todd (kinda half-penny dreadful and half-musical version, here), and the cool and charming Gambit from the
X-Men franchise.
Warnings: Some off-color jokes referencing drinking (Jack Sparrow, duh!), violence (Sweeney Todd, also a "duh!") and sex (Nick Knight, surprisingly, and Gambit, less surprisingly).
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A normal guy would say: “I love you, baby!”
Edward Cullen would say: “You are my life now.”
Nick Knight wouldn't say anything 'cos he's not that talkative when it comes to the feelings stuff. But he'd be willing to snuggle with you.
Jack Sparrow would say: "You an' me, two peas in a pod. Savvy?"
Sweeney Todd would say: "THESE are my friends. *brandishes razors* Not you."
Gambit would say: "
Je t'adore ain't strong enough to describe Gambit's feelings for you,
petite."
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