twispitefic

albion-witch.livejournal.com

Title:Papa Wolf
Author:albion_witch
Fandom:Twilight; DasMervin's "Wedding Crashers" fics
Rating:PG
Word Count:2347
Inspiration:DasMervin's "Wedding Crashers"
Warnings:Nothing major, save an allusion to the "Auto Erotica" fic and some soapboxing
Summary: Nearly a year after the infamous Cullen-Black wedding, Charlie gets an unsuspected visit from his daughter and son-in law.
( Baby on board )

albion-witch.livejournal.com

Title: Self-Service
Author: albion_witch
Fandom: Twilight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 477
Inspiration: Pretty much every discussion on the horniness of Bella Swan, especially in Eclipse
Warnings: Allusions to masturbation
Summary: Edward gets a rude awakening when Bella decides to take matters into her own hands.
Additional Notes: This fic is something of a special edition. I added some scenes to make it a little bit more of short story than the original couple of paragraphs I posted a while ago. Enjoy.

( A Date with Rosie Palms )

sum422.livejournal.com

I just got my friend into the Blackadder series and thought I'd try and write a crossover fic where Blackadder and the cast meet the characters of Twilight. I hope those who read this enjoy this! :) I don't know how long this is going to be but I'll try and keep it about 5 chapters!

Author: Sum422

Fandom(s): The Twilight Series, Blackadder

Rating: PG

Word Count: 1005

Inspiration: The Twilight series and the amazingly funny Blackadder series!

Warnings: None, really, except for maybe the occasional gross imagery that comes from insults aimed at Baldrick!

Summary: Edmund Blackadder was turned into a vampire and now spends his undead life as a guard for the Volturi. Problem is he hates working for his superiors just as his ancestors did for theirs. When Aro challenges him to a bet: kill the Cullens and we’ll relinquish Marcus's position to you or fail and be killed, Blackadder forms a cunning plan with his filthy beyond belief dogsbody, Baldrick, to wipe out the vegetarian family and become the top vamp!

( Read more... )

Current Mood: cheerful

kseenaa.livejournal.com

Author: KSena aka

kseenaa
Rating: PG13? I think?
Fandom: Twilight / Pirates of the Caribbean (ignoring the last movie) / Buffy the VampireSlayer (ignoring the comics) / Xena the WarriorPrincess
Pairings: Ehr… None?
Warnings: None
Word count: 1355
Inspiration: Yet Another Normal Guy vs. Edward vs. Other Guys fic by

sinestris (posted in this very community)
Summary: Comparing Edward Cullen with a normal guy, Captain Will Turner, Xander Harris and Joxer the Mighty!
Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. Pirates of the Caribbean belongs to Disney et al. Buffy the VampireSlayer belongs to Joss Whedon et al. Xena the WarriorPrincess belongs to Sam Raimi et al. The normal guy most likely belongs to himself…
Authors Note: I’ve seen a ton off these comparing Edward Cullen to other guys… I just had to do my take on it with the characters I’ve played in various roleplaying games here on LiveJournal. Much love to

ruchirahni for checking this over for me!

( A normal guy would say... )

Current Mood: cynical
Current Location: my desk, in comproom, at home
Current Music: Gimme some lovin' by The Blues Brothers...

sinestris.livejournal.com

Title: Yet Another Normal Guy vs. Edward vs. Other Guys fic
Author: LittleCaity/sinestris
Fandom(s): The Twilight Saga *shudder*, Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana
Rating: G
Word Count: 1,017
Inspiration: das-sporking.livejournal.com/136344.html Lisaerin's sporking of Twi-Hard stupidity and the awesome spite-fic additions in the comments, twispitefic.livejournal.com/25878.html Erika Lyndis' FMA follow-up, twispitefic.livejournal.com/13358.html Blueinkedfrost's Baldur's Gate remix, and twispitefic.livejournal.com/26755.html Gnosticdiva's original character remix. (The link wizard and I are not friends, my apologies.)
Warnings: General silliness and a couple of bad jokes
Summary: Jumping on the bandwagon with the aid of Klein Kiesling, Delsus and Arlin from Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana, proving that fun characters from a weird JRPG would make better boyfriends than Edward.
Disclaimers: I don't own Twilight or the original list, nor would I want to. I don't own Atelier Iris and I am very sad that I don't. Please don't sue, I'm just being silly.

( Fic behind the cut )

So yeah. Enjoy. Some people have the craziest standards...

Current Mood: creative
Current Music: Slasher Blue - Atelier Iris Azoth of Destiny

erikalyndis.livejournal.com

Title: Twilight In Less Than Ten Pages
Author: Erika Lyndis
Fandom(s): Twilight
Rating: PG
Word Count: 5481
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin.

( Read more... )

erikalyndis.livejournal.com

Title: Normal Guy vs Edward?
Author: Erika Lyndis
Fandom(s): Twilight/Fullmetal Alchemist
Rating: G
Word Count: 586
Inspiration: This sporking and the spitefics in the comments.
Warnings: Some slight spoliers for the ending of the manga Fullmetal Alchemist.
Summary: They may both have golden eyes, but these two Edwards could NOT be more different.
Author's Notes: Obviously, I don't own the origonal Normal Guy vs. Edward Cullen list, Twilight or Fullmetal Alchemist.

( Read more... )

melissatreglia

Title: The Perfect Boyfriend: Take Two
Author:

gnosticdiva
Fandom(s): Twilight/Forever Knight/Pirates Of The Caribbean/Sweeney Todd/X-Men
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1764
Inspiration:

lisaerin's sporking of the "Normal Guy vs. Edward Cullen" list. A "sequel" to

blueinkedpalm's "The Perfect Boyfriend".

Summary: Tweaks the original comparison between the normal guy and the needy/clingy creep Edward Cullen. Also edited to include some of my favorite male characters; the perfectly sweet but of-few-words Nick Knight from Forever Knight, the indescribable Jack Sparrow from the Pirates of the Caribbean movie series, the dark and malevolent legendary Sweeney Todd (kinda half-penny dreadful and half-musical version, here), and the cool and charming Gambit from the X-Men franchise.

Warnings: Some off-color jokes referencing drinking (Jack Sparrow, duh!), violence (Sweeney Todd, also a "duh!") and sex (Nick Knight, surprisingly, and Gambit, less surprisingly).

==============

A normal guy would say: “I love you, baby!”

Edward Cullen would say: “You are my life now.”

Nick Knight wouldn't say anything 'cos he's not that talkative when it comes to the feelings stuff. But he'd be willing to snuggle with you.

Jack Sparrow would say: "You an' me, two peas in a pod. Savvy?"

Sweeney Todd would say: "THESE are my friends. *brandishes razors* Not you."

Gambit would say: "Je t'adore ain't strong enough to describe Gambit's feelings for you, petite."

( Click for more! )

Current Mood: amused

gehayi.livejournal.com

Title: Satellite Eyes
Author:

gehayi
Fandom(s): Buffy the Vampire Slayer/New Moon
Rating: PG
Word Count: 4,267
Summary: Edward gets to try out his "romantic" speeches on a woman who's both more critical and less adoring than Bella.
Inspiration: Chapter 23—The Truth.
Author's Notes: This chapter is chock-full of purple prose. I thought a little sense needed to be injected into the scene.

The italicized passages spoken by Edward throughout are from Chapter 23 of New Moon, and are by Meyer.

***

( 'So let me get this straight,' the blonde girl said, snickering. 'You hear that the girl you've been stalking is dead, and the first thought in your mind is 'I'm going to a small town in Italy, strip naked and hope that my dad's ex-boyfriend notices me and my body glitter'?' )

winki-pop.livejournal.com

Title: Being Bella Swan
Author: winki_fiction
Rating: R
Length: 3,063
Summary: Twilight/Being Human crackfic crossover. Bella Swan wants to become a vampire at any cost, even if Edward isn't the one to deliver the bite...
Status: Complete

Title: Nut Up or Shut Up: A Story of Sparkle
Author: winki_fiction
Rating: R
Length: 2,803
Summary: Zombieland/Twilight crackfic crossover. Wichita and Little Rock are fighting more than just zombies nowadays...
Status: Complete

Reccer's comments: I wrote these crackfics and posted them both a while ago on my fiction community Fiction by Winki_Pop, both crossovers. I know it's kinda shameless to be pimping out your own stories, but I didn't see the point in posting them again when I have already done it once. Plus, I wouldn't mind having a few more visitors to my page :D Also, I thought it'd be a nice change from the drama fics I've posted here lately.

Thanks :P

Current Mood: cheerful

emmram.livejournal.com

1. Title: Be Dazzled: A Supernatural Twilight crossover
Author: iSparkle616
Rating: T
Length: ~ 22,900 (Prologue + 7 chapters + Epilogue)
Summary: It was supposed to be a normal hunt for the Winchesters. Too bad they ended up in Forks, Washington.
Status: Complete
Reccer's comments: This story is kind of the reason I requested a rec tag in the first place; it's a pitch-perfect parody of Twilight, and features two very well-written Winchester brothers kicking vampiric ass in their own inimitable way. Trust me, it's hilarious, and neatly points out Twilight's flaws without sounding preachy about it. (And Sam and Dean's reactions to Bella and the Cullens is comic gold, I swear). Not much by way of spoilers, as there's no Jacob or the werewolves, and as far as SPN goes, this is set late in the first season. If you don't know much about SPN, don't worry; the story's still pretty easy to understand.

2. Title: Friday's Child
Author: Lisse
Rating: K
Length: ~800
Summary: Ten facts about one girl. Sorta-metafic, ginormous Breaking Dawn spoilers.
Status: Complete
Reccer's comments: You have no idea how much I love this story. It's set years after BD (so spoilers for all four books) and presents Renesmee in a completely different light - it presents her as a well-rounded character, who is curious about and yearns for the human part of her heritage. The lovely thing is, the story stays true to Twilight canon, yet makes these little tongue-in-cheek jabs at the wrongness inherent in the books - both Twilight fans and those who hate the books can read this and feel satisfied. That's not mentioning the quality of the writing - it's lyrical and beautiful, and the last line left me smiling with pleasure and pride. I cannot rec it enough.

tsukasabuddha.livejournal.com

Title: Epilogue: Renesmee
Author: tsukasabuddha
Fandom(s): Twilight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 519
Inspiration: The Jacob/Renesmee relationship in Breaking Dawn.
Warnings: Humor with pedophilia, minor language and implied sexual content
Summary: Renesmee is late one day coming home from school...

( Read more )

winki-pop.livejournal.com

Title: The Uprising (Yes, like the Muse song... :D)
Author: winki_pop
Fandom(s): The Twilight Series
Rating: R
Word Count: 2889
Inspiration: Twilight Series General, kind of, mainly just a crackfic for the lulz
Warnings: Violence, language, character deaths, angst, explosions :D
Summary: It's time to take out the glittery trash as a town revolts against Bella and the Cullens. Be warned: very AU, more like my crazy wish fullfilment

( The Uprising (very crackfic, so be warned...) )

Current Mood: curious

gehayi.livejournal.com

Title: Genre Fusion
Author:

gehayi
Fandom(s): The Twilight Series
Rating: PG
Word Count: 730
Summary: For years, everyone has figured that Renesmee Cullen will marry Jacob Black when she's old enough. It never occurred to anyone that she might want someone else--or a different kind of life.
Inspiration: Written for

pocky_slash's Not My Fandom Fest, where the object was to write a fic for a fandom you weren't part of based on what you'd learned from your friends and from fandom at large.
Author's Note: From what I know, Renesmee is a complete brat in the books who is completely aware, AT TWO DAYS OLD, that Jacob wants her. Here, she's not like that--mainly because I wanted to create some alternative to the future Meyer sets out for her.

***

( I don't know how to break this to you, Jacob, but... )

gehayi.livejournal.com

Title: Better Loving Through Suicide
Author:

gehayi
Fandom(s): The Twilight Series
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,189
Summary: Post-canon. Ten years after their marriage, Edward and Bella will stop at nothing to make each other happy…even if it means that each of them has to die.
Chapter Inspiration: Chapter 18 — The Funeral
Author’s Note:

indigostohelit pointed out that "Bella attempts suicide, and this is a sign of her love for Edward. Edward attempts suicide, and this is a sign of his love for Bella." That got me wondering--what would a relationship be like in which both parties considered suicide to be the ultimate way of saying "I love you"?

***

( Edward, my dearest, because it is your birthday, I am going to kill myself. )

das-mervin.livejournal.com

Title: Long Distance
Author:

das_mervin
Fandom(s): New Moon
Rating: G
Word Count: 935
Inspiration: The ridiculous plan Alice cooks up to save Edward from himself in chapter eighteen.
Warnings: NONE
Summary: Rosalie was always the logical one.

( Long Distance )

das-mervin.livejournal.com

Title: Sands Takes the Wheel
Author:

das_mervin
Fandom(s): New Moon/Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Rating: R
Word Count: 660
Inspiration: Written in response to Bella constantly trying to blame herself for everything that happened in chapter one and two of New Moon.
Warnings: Strong language.
Summary: Sands has a bit of a tantrum and uses Edward to express himself, and since when has he ever given a rat’s ass about characterization, right?
Author’s Note: This is technically a crossover and a self-insert, seeing as Sands inserted himself into Edward. *shakes head* I couldn't talk him out of it. So, here it is.

( Sands Takes the Wheel )

das-mervin.livejournal.com

Title: Reality Bitchslap
Author:

das_mervin
Fandom(s): Twilight
Rating: PG
Word Count: 560
Inspiration: Written in response to Bella saying that what Charlie knows about her life is actually her business, not Charlie’s or anybody else’s, in chapter twelve.
Warnings: Just a little language.
Summary: I am Das Mervin, and I am NOT amused.

( Reality Bitchslap )

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We're filled with spite and we like to write.

Entries tagged with genre: comedy

Papa Wolf

Self-Service

Blackadder 5: The Undead Years (Part 1)

Another one of those Normal guy vs Edward Cullen vs Other guys fic...

SpiteFic: Yet Another Normal Guy vs. Edward vs. Other Guys Fic

Spitefic: Twilight In Less Than Ten Pages

Spitefic: Normal Guy vs Edward?

The Perfect Boyfriend: Take Two

Spitefic: Satellite Eyes

Fic Recommendations on Fiction by Winki_Pop

Fic recs

Epilogue: Renesmee

TwiSpiteFic - The Uprising

Spitefic: Genre Fusion

Spitefic: Better Loving Through Suicide

Spitefic: Long Distance

Spitefic: Sands Takes the Wheel

Spitefic: Reality Bitchslap

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January 2019

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