Spitefic: Ninety (1/1)

[inmh.livejournal.com]

Title: Ninety
Author: inmh
Fandom(s): Twilight Series (Could fit for just about any)
Rating: PG-13/T
Word Count: 471
Inspiration: Because after having three beloved pets die because of assholes who couldn't be bothered to follow a simple damn speed limit, I'm not inclined to Edward's driving practices. At. All.
Warnings: Language
Summary: In which Charlie gets the biggest, bestest gift ever.
Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Not me. Thank God.



He should have been more careful.

Edward grit his teeth and clutched the steering wheel with both hands, glaring at the road ahead of him and listening as the thoughts of his fellow drivers came and went as they went through a sort of Doppler effect-

-lookslikethATGUYISINTROubleguesshe’s-

-somebodyisdeFINITELYGETtingaticket-

-badboysbadbOYSWHATCHAGONNADowhentheycome-

Edward growled softly and heard the plastic in the wheel crack slightly under his ironclad grip.

He let out a small, irritable huff as he heard the door of the police-cruiser slam shut from some distance behind his car. The red and blue lights were still spinning (unnecessarily, in his opinion; he was already stopped) and they stood out in the twilight lighting of the almost-night.

He shut his eyes and tried in vain to block out the thoughts of the police officer, because it was going to be ten times worse when he got to the car door. Edward could hear him whistling a jaunty melody, strolling at a leisurely pace, taking his damn time.

Stay calm. Stay calm.

Edward caught a glimpse of the officer in the rearview mirror when he briefly opened his eyes, and had a miniature fit when he saw just how utterly cool and collected the man was.

She will never forgive you if you-

A hand came down onto the space the window glass usually occupied, and Edward took a deep breath.

"Chief Swan."

"Mr. Cullen."

Got you, you son of a bitch, got you real good.

"How are you this evening?"

"I'm not so good, Cullen. You see, it does something really bad to me deep down inside when I see people breaking the law. And you? You just broke it pretty bad. When you passed my speed-trap back there, I clocked you at about ninety miles-per-hour. The speed limit is 35."

Edward was kicking himself. On the road, out in public it wasn't always so easy to distinguish who was who. Unless Charlie had been deliberately thinking of police-related business, he wouldn't have stood out; even then, with so many other thoughts to contend with, Edward might not have heard him anyway.

"I see."

"Apparently you don't, or you wouldn't have been going ninety in a thirty-five."

God I love the sound of those words: "Ninety in a thirty-five". I'm thinking a heavy fine, a license revocation- And I'll make damn sure that when they inevitably move again that whatever place they go to knows about this.

"And I am sorry about that-"

"I'm sure you are, now that you've been caught." Charlie's voice had hardened, and he stepped back from the door. "Step out of the car, son."

Edward had no choice but to obey, barely managing to shut the door gently behind him. Especially when he heard:

No license means no taking Bella anywhere. Happy birthday to me.

"Hands behind your head, Cullen."

-End

Comments

[mage-apprentice.livejournal.com]

I have to ask why Meyer thought it's a good idea to put Edward speeding in the book. To make him look like a "bad boy"? And no, his reflexes don't matter when the van i refuse to call that soccer mom thing a car itself doesn't have those kinds of reflexes. It can't move off the road nearly as fast as Edward can and it can't narrowly dodge with surprising maneuverability. Those commercials where cars do that kind of stuff are practiced and in inclosed courses with professional drivers at the wheel. Edward has none of those factors in place.

The stretch of highway that I drive down for class is usually filled with cop cars parked on the side, yet people still speed (until they spot a cop car then they go 10 under). I've had an eighteen-wheeler nearly drive into me when switching lanes, a couple cars drive disturbingly close to my bumper (wish I drove a truck so I could break check them), and had to break a couple times while trying to get onto the highway because people wouldn't switch lanes when they could (do they NOT see me coming?!). Also, NO ONE uses their blinkers anymore. NO ONE.

I try not to notice them. Makes me sad when I do, especially when I spot dogs or cats. Lately, though, I've been spotting armadillos more often than any other kind of animal.

[inmh.livejournal.com]

Because speeding's COOL. No one's ever DIED by wrapping themselves around a tree or telephone pole because they were SPEEDING /RAGE. Visually it's supposed to look cool, like the commercials you mentioned; but in a real life setting, people actually get hurt (BUT NOT IN MEYERVILLE WHERE THE SUN ALWAYS SHINES ON THE GOOD GUYS AND MAKES THEM SPARKLE LIKE LITTLE PIXIES).

In my Freshman year of high school, there was this one car that almost hit me twice (I think it was a Junior driving it, because I saw the car for two years straight). In fact, he had a habit of almost hitting a LOT of people. I know the speed-traps in my area like the back of my hand, because within five miles of my house we have an elementary school, a middle school and a high school (all of which I attended).

I'm in the Northeast, so we get possum, raccoons, squirrels... Saw a seagull dead on the side of the road once too. Birdie learned the hard way to move when screaming metal death comes charging at it.