Spitefic: Ninety (1/1)
May. 20th, 2012 10:52 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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twispiteficAuthor:
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inmhFandom(s): Twilight Series (Could fit for just about any)
Rating: PG-13/T
Word Count: 471
Inspiration: Because after having three beloved pets die because of assholes who couldn't be bothered to follow a simple damn speed limit, I'm not inclined to Edward's driving practices. At. All.
Warnings: Language
Summary: In which Charlie gets the biggest, bestest gift ever.
Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Not me. Thank God.
He should have been more careful.
Edward grit his teeth and clutched the steering wheel with both hands, glaring at the road ahead of him and listening as the thoughts of his fellow drivers came and went as they went through a sort of Doppler effect-
-lookslikethATGUYISINTROubleguesshe’s-
-somebodyisdeFINITELYGETtingaticket-
-badboysbadbOYSWHATCHAGONNADowhentheycome-
Edward growled softly and heard the plastic in the wheel crack slightly under his ironclad grip.
He let out a small, irritable huff as he heard the door of the police-cruiser slam shut from some distance behind his car. The red and blue lights were still spinning (unnecessarily, in his opinion; he was already stopped) and they stood out in the twilight lighting of the almost-night.
He shut his eyes and tried in vain to block out the thoughts of the police officer, because it was going to be ten times worse when he got to the car door. Edward could hear him whistling a jaunty melody, strolling at a leisurely pace, taking his damn time.
Stay calm. Stay calm.
Edward caught a glimpse of the officer in the rearview mirror when he briefly opened his eyes, and had a miniature fit when he saw just how utterly cool and collected the man was.
She will never forgive you if you-
A hand came down onto the space the window glass usually occupied, and Edward took a deep breath.
"Chief Swan."
"Mr. Cullen."
Got you, you son of a bitch, got you real good.
"How are you this evening?"
"I'm not so good, Cullen. You see, it does something really bad to me deep down inside when I see people breaking the law. And you? You just broke it pretty bad. When you passed my speed-trap back there, I clocked you at about ninety miles-per-hour. The speed limit is 35."
Edward was kicking himself. On the road, out in public it wasn't always so easy to distinguish who was who. Unless Charlie had been deliberately thinking of police-related business, he wouldn't have stood out; even then, with so many other thoughts to contend with, Edward might not have heard him anyway.
"I see."
"Apparently you don't, or you wouldn't have been going ninety in a thirty-five."
God I love the sound of those words: "Ninety in a thirty-five". I'm thinking a heavy fine, a license revocation- And I'll make damn sure that when they inevitably move again that whatever place they go to knows about this.
"And I am sorry about that-"
"I'm sure you are, now that you've been caught." Charlie's voice had hardened, and he stepped back from the door. "Step out of the car, son."
Edward had no choice but to obey, barely managing to shut the door gently behind him. Especially when he heard:
No license means no taking Bella anywhere. Happy birthday to me.
"Hands behind your head, Cullen."
-End
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Date: 2012-05-21 03:06 am (UTC)Good job. I agree, the way the Cullens drive they probably would've killed quite a few pets by now at minimum. Assholes.
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Date: 2012-05-21 04:00 am (UTC)THANK YOU! They've probably killed people's pets DIRECTLY as well. -___-
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Date: 2012-05-21 03:22 am (UTC)I'm sorry about your pets . . . D:
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Date: 2012-05-21 04:02 am (UTC)UGH, I KNOW. It drives me crazy. I remember this one time when a woman was actually honking at me when I was going the speed limit (possibly a mile or two over) and she was- literally almost touching my bumper. It was the first day I almost flipped someone off.
Thanks. Everyone and their damn mother speeds on our road. I can't tell you how many dead animals I see on a daily basis.
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Date: 2012-05-21 04:14 am (UTC)The stretch of highway that I drive down for class is usually filled with cop cars parked on the side, yet people still speed (until they spot a cop car then they go 10 under). I've had an eighteen-wheeler nearly drive into me when switching lanes, a couple cars drive disturbingly close to my bumper (wish I drove a truck so I could break check them), and had to break a couple times while trying to get onto the highway because people wouldn't switch lanes when they could (do they NOT see me coming?!). Also, NO ONE uses their blinkers anymore. NO ONE.
I try not to notice them. Makes me sad when I do, especially when I spot dogs or cats. Lately, though, I've been spotting armadillos more often than any other kind of animal.
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Date: 2012-05-21 05:04 am (UTC)AND MAKES THEM SPARKLE LIKE LITTLE PIXIES).In my Freshman year of high school, there was this one car that almost hit me twice (I think it was a Junior driving it, because I saw the car for two years straight). In fact, he had a habit of almost hitting a LOT of people. I know the speed-traps in my area like the back of my hand, because within five miles of my house we have an elementary school, a middle school and a high school (all of which I attended).
I'm in the Northeast, so we get possum, raccoons, squirrels... Saw a seagull dead on the side of the road once too. Birdie learned the hard way to move when screaming metal death comes charging at it.
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Date: 2012-05-21 09:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-21 03:34 pm (UTC)I KNOW. So many bad memories of my high school parking lot. *Whimpers*
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Date: 2012-05-21 12:02 pm (UTC)This was great.
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Date: 2012-05-21 03:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-21 12:37 pm (UTC)And my condolences for the loss of your pets. I live near a very busy street and it saddens me when I see a dead cat on the side of the road.
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Date: 2012-05-21 03:37 pm (UTC)Thanks. :) What makes me cringe are houses that are right next to the highway. I pity the family in such a house that has pets that get outside.
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Date: 2012-05-22 03:58 am (UTC)Actually, most of them were feral cats, but it still gets to me.
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Date: 2012-05-22 04:15 am (UTC)We have feral cats in my area, and I actually heard one (It was just a baby) get hit one night and die. :( I don't think the guy was speeding, it was just dark, and the kitten was dark-furred. UGH, IT KILLED ME.
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Date: 2012-05-21 03:16 pm (UTC)Geez, I haven't run into many really bad drivers in New England myself. Although I have a problem with pedestrians--I hate it when they decide that since I am stopped behind another car waiting for a green light, they can just waltz in front of my car to cross the street INSTEAD OF USING THE CROSSWALK ALL OF FOUR FEET AWAY. Yes, our town now has longer red lights, but THE CROSSWALK IS SAFER. CARS CAN STILL HIT YOU IF YOU WALK OUT IN FRONT OF ONE AND DON'T SEE ANOTHER COMING TOWARDS YOU.
We do get roadkill this time of year, though. :( Poor squirrels.
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Date: 2012-05-21 03:40 pm (UTC)I have. -____- I live in a part of New Hampshire where I'm one hour from Maine in one direction, and one hour from Massachusetts in another. So we get a lot of varying drivers as well as our own, including ones not necessarily aware of our driving laws.
SQUIRRELS! :( I see so many of them too.
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Date: 2012-05-21 04:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-21 04:35 pm (UTC)Realistically, he would have had his ass kicked so many times, because the police are not blind. And with Charlie, there's no way he's not going to get any consequences. :3
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Date: 2012-05-21 09:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-22 12:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 05:06 am (UTC)Beautiful. <3
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Date: 2012-05-25 02:46 am (UTC)NO WORDS. JUST GIF.
Date: 2012-05-24 05:48 pm (UTC)Re: NO WORDS. JUST GIF.
Date: 2012-05-25 02:46 am (UTC)no subject
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