Fair is Foul, and Foul is Fair

[melissatreglia]

Title: Fair is Foul, and Foul is Fair
Author: gnosticdiva
Fandom: Twilight
Rating: G
Word Count: 330
Inspiration: Twilight: 13. Confessions - "Edward in the sunlight was shocking." Shockingly inconsistent with the portrayal of vampires in every single thing ever, that is. But, it turns out that they'd be pretty badass if they referred to themselves as the creatures they actually resemble. Also, the title is taken from the first act of Shakespeare's MacBeth.
Warnings: None. This is quite likely the tamest thing I've ever written.

Summary: Jumping to conclusions can sometimes work in your favour.

===========================

Rosalie burst out laughing. "Vampires? She thinks we're vampires?!?"

Edward snorted. He didn't find the mistaken identity nearly as amusing as his sister obviously did.

Rosalie shook her head, her blonde curls shooting off sparks in the noonday light with the movement. "Vampires. Jesus. Doesn't anybody read anymore?" She giggled. "I mean, I guess I understand her thinking that of you, Edward. You can be kinda creepy, sometimes. But how can anybody mistake Alice, of all people, for a vampire?"

Emmett chortled. "I'm not much for researchin', but even I know that vampires aren't the only creatures who drink blood." He grinned. "Like us."

Carlisle's voice, soft and gravelly, nonetheless reached everyone's ears with no effort. The entire family stilled when he spoke. "This could be a good thing for us."

Edward growled. "Good? How can it possibly be considered good?"

"Easily," Carlisle replied. "If she has mistaken us for vampires, then she has no idea what we really are. Our true identities -- and our purpose here -- are still safely guarded."

Now, this was an interesting point. The rest of the family sat up at attention, waiting for what more their father was about to say.

Carlisle continued, the wheels turning, his blonde head haloed by the natural light streaming through the windows. "We will carefully feed her misinformation. If we play our cards right, in a matter of months, she will be begging to join us." He turned to his eldest child. "Edward, continue behaving as you have. Make sure Bella remains curious, and leave her wanting more of what she thinks she'll be getting.

"Remember, in her eyes, you are a vampire. So act like one, for Bella's benefit. Make sure she never learns anything about faeries, or that she is a changeling child. By the time she 'becomes' one of us, the truth will no longer matter."

Edward nodded, his expression twisting into a wry smirk. "One brooding, possessive, teen vampire - coming right up."

*Fin*

Comments

[kermit-thefrog.livejournal.com]

*Slow clap* Awesome. This is a classic example of how Twilight could have been SO MUCH BETTER if only SMeyer had a brain.

Also, the "changeling" aspect would explain a hell of a lot about Bella and why she always feels so different from other people. And why she wants to kiss her humanity goodbye so fast.

More? :)

[melissatreglia]

Aww, shucks. *blushes* Glad you like it. I don't have any other ideas for the fae!Cullens beyond this oneshot, as of yet. But... ya never know.

Also, the "changeling" aspect would explain a hell of a lot about Bella... [snip] why she wants to kiss her humanity goodbye so fast.

And why she lacks basic human empathy.

[angel-renoir.livejournal.com]

Er, my myth knowledge is failing me. What is a changeling and how would that affect anything?

[melissatreglia]

A changeling is the offspring of a faerie, elf, troll or other mythical creature who's been deliberately switched with a normal human child. (wiki)

The human parents are left not knowing, but suspecting something's odd about their kid (which isn't actually their kid at all, but a supernatural stand-in). And the human child that has been kidnapped is either later killed by the being(s) that took them from their parents, or becomes a slave to their supernatural kidnappers.

Basically, the Bella we know about was switched in place of the "real" human Bella Swan in the cradle.

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

*lol* Brilliant. Fucking brilliant. It all makes sense now! :-D

[melissatreglia]

Thanks! :D

The ficlet was, oddly enough, inspired by a conversation I had over dinner with my mother. I had blurted out to Mom, totally off the cuff, that Meyerpires are terrible vampires but would make some pretty badass Fair Folk. Of course, Meyer's not that smart. So we got lame sparkly vampires instead of bloodsucking, devious, awesome faeries. Who sparkle because, y'know, that's what faeries do.

Bella being a changeling popped into my head while writing. Because you can't look at the sheer magnitude of her egotism and brute stupidity, and then tell me straight-faced that she's in any way a normal human being.

[morri-delrae.livejournal.com]

Nice one! It was short, but suspenseful; I was really wondering if you'll eventually disclose what the Cullens really are. I've never heard of blood-drinking faeries (but I did a search and apparently the bane sidhe is considered one. Wow, the more you know) and I love how devious they are in this story. And this line:

"One brooding, possessive, teen vampire - coming right up."

was just precious :D

[melissatreglia]

Thank you! :D

I've never heard of blood-drinking faeries... [snip] ...and I love how devious they are in this story.

Faeries also tend to be total bastards in the original folklore, too. They're only nice to normal, human people on a whim. Hence, the ironic appellation of "Fair Folk".

If Meyer had made them faeries, the story could've been freakin' brilliant. But she probably thinks the original, mythical Fae are cute little Tinkerbell lookalikes who nap on flower petals all day. So... yeah.

[fragrantwoods.livejournal.com]

That was wonderful. I could hear the "WTF??" in Rosalie's
voice :-) And great snark: "Doesn't anybody read anymore?"

[melissatreglia]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked my Rosalie voice. :)

[sugarkid-dreams.livejournal.com]

This was a whole 'nother shade of brilliant.
That last line? Made my night. This very awesome :D

Do you mind if I write some fic based on this? Credit will be given of course :D

[melissatreglia]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you've been inspired by it.

I'm currently working on the story of changeling!Bella's reason for coming to Forks and crossing paths with the Cullens, but feel free to use the Cullens-as-Fae idea!

[chibi-regalli.livejournal.com]

Yes, Yes, YES!

Agreed, Twilight would be an INFINITELY better story if the Cullens were simply Fair Folk. I'm not sure if blood-drinking's exactly standard for fay, but it fits in their lore much better than sparkling does for vampires.

Bella a changeling- Brilliant. Explains everything. Though I have to wonder what they want with her now... Ah, suspense.

[melissatreglia]

As morri_delrae mentioned higher up, the bane sidhe (banshee) drink blood. There's also a lot of evil faeries in folklore who's appearance mark the observing humans for death and/or are known for kidnapping and killing/devouring children.

Yes. You read that right. Some folkloric faeries EAT BABIES. So, drinking blood is more of a step down for them.

Bella a changeling- Brilliant. Explains everything. Though I have to wonder what they want with her now... Ah, suspense.

The good news is that I've been inspired to write about changeling!Bella, as well, so... you may yet find out. ;)

[chibi-regalli.livejournal.com]

Certainly wouldn't put baby-eating past 'em. Things people forget about faeries and elves #70: If you became a folkloric force that couldn't be converted and merged with Christianity, good luck being considered benevolent.

YAY! Sounds awesome.

[settecorvi.livejournal.com]

This is amazing! And as everybody before me's mentioned, it explains Bella's sense of uniqueness and grandiosity perfectly. The materialistic, supercilious Cullens would also make fantastic Fair Folk at Forks to sow a little mayhem and pick up a changeling, and that background would also explain why nobody's curious about their bizarre behavior.

Now I really want to see Charlie (who brings the guns) and Renee (who brings the PhD in folklore) team up to go rescue their daughter - human, changeling, or both - from Faerie.

[melissatreglia]

Thank you so very much! I'm so delighted that everybody's been so happy about it, and had such kind words for the ficlet. I had no idea it'd go over this well.

But you're right: it all makes perfect sense now, doesn't it?

Now I really want to see Charlie (who brings the guns) and Renee (who brings the PhD in folklore) team up to go rescue their daughter - human, changeling, or both - from Faerie.

Mind if I encorporate this idea in my upcoming changeling!Bella story? (Charlie getting suspicious and going after the Cullens is a given, but the idea of Renee as the brains of a rescue mission is something I hadn't thought of before you mentioned it...)

[settecorvi.livejournal.com]

Feel free to incorporate Renee as the brains behind Charlie's brawn. It seemed like Bella's view of her mother as a ditz could be subverted into the "absent-minded but brilliant professor," which is still a stereotype, but at least a less insulting and sexist one.

If she has a background in the real myths about Faerie, it also gives lots of room to play: Is Bella's theft the first time she realizes all of the fairytales she's been studying are real, or has she known the Fair Folk exist before that? Did Bella's birth spark her interest, or did her interest draw Faerie's attention to her, or is it a coincidence that a folklore expert had her daughter swapped for a changeling? Does Bella's true nature have anything to do with why Renee ran out on Charlie so suddenly, refused adamantly to return to Forks, and encouraged her daughter to despise Forks as much as she did? It could be interesting to either have Renee ignorant of what she's been raising, or to have her know and try desperately to bond with the inhuman creature that has her stolen daughter's face, even to the point of the codependence we see in the books.

[mzsugarrat.livejournal.com]

Interesting and makes a whole lot of more sense (Bella being a changeling and Cullens being of the Fair Folk) then anything Meyer wrote :D
Just one question; What did the Cullens want Bella for? Bring her back to her own kind or...?
Maybe it's just me that's thick ;)

[melissatreglia]

I'm glad you enjoyed "Fair is Foul, and Foul is Fair." I didn't actually mention what the fae!Cullens wanted changeling!Bella for. But this will be cleared up in the expansion I'm currently writing (currently it's a novella, but it may end up a full-length novel at this rate).

Late reply is late. *eep!*

[albion-witch.livejournal.com]

I bow to your awesomeness. Seriously, I like this way of twisting the canon and I am crazy about less than sentimental portrayals of the Fair Folk.

[melissatreglia]

I didn't even see your comment on "Fair is Foul, and Foul is Fair" before! But I'm glad you enjoyed the canon-twisting. More fae!Cullens will be seen in the expansion I'm writing (my current plans have it as a novella, but it may end up a novel at this rate), and their motivations will be gotten into a little more.

[lady-hornet.livejournal.com]

What court would the fae!Cullens and changeling!Bella belong to? Winter or Summer?

[melissatreglia]

I'm still working on the expanded universe version (long, multi-chapter fic). This is one of the questions I hope to answer then, but I don't want to give too much away right now.