Random Encounter

[mage-apprentice.livejournal.com]

Title: Random Encounter
Author: mage_apprentice
Fandom: Twilight and Pokemon
Rating: PG-13 (tell me if the rating has to go up)
Word Count: 549
Inspiration: What do meyerpires and pokemon have in common? Why, they're both shiny!
Warning: Mild language with one f-bomb
Summary: Wild EDWARD appeared!
Author's Notes: The redheaded pokemon trainer you see is the rival in Gold, Silver, Crystal and their remakes. His name is Silver, but unfortunately, while writing this, his name doesn't come up.

Surrounded by their beautiful meadow with the spring flowers blooming, Edward and Bella stare at each other, oblivious to everything around them. Bella stares at Edward’s sparkling, shiny skin and strokes his smooth, cold, perfect face.

“I love you,” Bella says.

“I love you, too,” Edward replies back with his velvety voice.

“Feraligatr, use ice beam!”

Edward whirls around just in time to see an icy beam strike him down. Ice encases his body completely, stopping all possible movement. Bella screams in terror as a redheaded teenager throws a black and yellow ball at her precious Edward. The ball hits Edward and pulls him inside. A tense silence goes over the redhead and the bipedal crocodilian monster as they wait for the little ball to click. Only Bella’s endless screaming can be heard.

The black and yellow ball clicks. The teen huffs, “Finally! After having a shiny wooper, a shiny koffing, and a shiny fucking gyarados rubbed in my face, I can show off my own shiny pokémon to Gold! That little brat won’t one-up me anymore!”

“Edward! Edward!” Bella snatches the ball up and clutches it tight. She turns to the intruder and wails, “What did you do to him?”

The teenager rips the ball out of Bella’s hands and gives her a mocking grin. “I caught him! You can’t say it wasn’t fair, too, since all types of pokéballs can only work on wild pokémon! You shouldn’t have wasted so many opportunities to catch it!”

“Wh-what did you call him?”

“A pokémon, you dumbass. You have to be the dumbest girl I have ever seen in a while.”

“Edward’s not a pokémon, stupid! He’s a vampire!”

The teen snorts. “Yeah, right. Vampires don’t sparkle. Hell, zubats are scarier than this thing.”

“He’s a vampire! Now give me back my true love!”

“True love . . . ?” The teen’s face slowly turns into a horrified expression before glaring at Bella with pure disgust. “Nasty! You commit bestiality with a pokémon? Oh my Arceus! You are the most disgusting person I have ever met!”

“Give him back! Give him back right now!”

Bella jumps at the ball and claws at the teen’s closed hand. The teen pushes her off and throws down the ball. “Go! Get her off!” The ball opens and Edward reappears. Instead of attacking Bella like the teen expects, Edward turns against the young man. Before Edward says a single word, the intruder commands, “Sit! Looks like I’m going to have to break you in during training.”

“You dare tell me what to do?” Edward hisses.

“Yes, I and my sixteen badges from Johto and Kanto dare to tell you what to do. Sit.”

Edward sits down in the flowers.

The teenager looks over Edward with a critical stare. “. . . I have never seen a talking pokémon before.”

“That is because I am not a ‘po-kee-mon,’ you fool. I am a vampire!”

After studying Edward with that same critical eye, the redhead scowls. He remarks, “Vampire or not, I suppose this was too good to be true.” He holds up the black and yellow ball and snaps it in half. “There, you’re free, you sparkling freak. I can’t believe wasted an ultra ball over this.”

Comments

[chibi-regalli.livejournal.com]

Oh, Silver. Don't worry, there's a nice couple on Route 34 near Goldenrod who might be able to help you*.

Awesome. Good to see I'm not the only one who's had this idea... though mine involved May, an entire route of Pokenerds, and Edward getting mauled by a Blaziken for wasting their time.


* The Dizzy Punch egg has a well-above-average rate of shiny, at least in Crystal.

[mage-apprentice.livejournal.com]

Lol. I know exactly what you mean. I got a shiny smoochum from that couple, one time.

Personally, I picked Silver for this encounter because I know Silver's the type who'd have nothing against smacking people around physically and verbally. Just what Bella needs.

[chibi-regalli.livejournal.com]

So did I. Sadly, it's pretty much my only shiny, and it was back in Crystal.

I was inspired by the RedChocobo Emerald Let's Play, where May (actually Misty in-playthrough) is an angry, violent lunatic. Plus, I wanted to use Edward appearing in the Cycling Road route in Hoenn for maximum trainer swarm.

[melissatreglia]

I don't know a damn thing about Pokemon, other than Pikachu, so... yeah, I can't really comment on how true you were to that particular 'verse.

But it was damn funny! XD

[mage-apprentice.livejournal.com]

How true to the canon I am depends on which media of Pokemon I'm referring to since there's at least three manga series, one anime, and the game series that started it all. In this case, I'm referring to the games.

Glad you liked it despite not knowing a lot of the jokes.

[magykal.livejournal.com]

He should've kept Frostyballs...

[mage-apprentice.livejournal.com]

Why? It's not like Frostyballs is strong or willing to fight when things get even a little tough.

[magykal.livejournal.com]

I've been mentally amusing myself with images of Silver training Edward. To put it very simply I found the idea of Edward being a pokemon highly funny :)