Spitefic: Three Against One

[kermit-thefrog.livejournal.com]

Title: Three Against One

Author: kermit_thefrog

Rating: PG

Book: Eclipse

Length: 941

Summary: Alice, Esme and Rosalie veto Edward's "kidnapping" ploy in Chapter 6.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Freaking Meyer owns these awful characters and I just write spitefic about what I wish they had done. This was inspired by elementallove  and zelda_queen  's comments after das_mervin's sporking of the chapter. I hear and obey, ladies.

 

Three Against O

“You want us to what?”

Edward just looked at me impatiently.

“I want you to keep Bella safe here over the weekend. Do whatever you have to do, just keep her here and don’t let her go home until I get back.”

My mouth refused to close of its’ own accord, and I could see even Esme looked uncomfortable with Edward’s ridiculous idea. Alice, on the other hand, was prancing in place at the thought of Bella Swan staying under the same roof for two whole days.

“Edward,” I said, crossing my arms firmly. “This is not a good idea. We can’t kidnap your girlfriend. Her father’s a policeman. He’d track her down within the hour and we’d all be in trouble.”

Edward scoffed. “Rose, don’t be so dramatic. All I’m telling you to do is make sure she stays here for two days, and then I’ll drive her back home. It’s hardly a crime to--”

“Force someone to stay in one place against their will?” I countered, raising an eyebrow at him. “Good luck telling Chief Swan that.”

Edward shook his head at me. “You’re too sensitive about this, Rose.”

“You’re damn right I’m sensitive!” I snapped, louder than I’d meant to. “The last time someone held me against my will, I woke up the next morning as a vampire. I know what it’s like to be helpless---and have people all around you, not letting you move--” I closed my eyes, willing the memories that decades of immortal life could never eradicate to fade. I opened them again, wishing I could still produce tears, and raised my chin defiantly.

“I’m not having any part in your little scheme, Edward. Count me out.”

Edward huffed and turned to Esme, who was knotting her hands together.

“Esme, you can call Chief Swan and tell him Bella’s invited to spend the weekend here, if that will satisfy Rosalie’s scruples,” he said pompously, giving me a condescending “Happy now?” look.

I opened my mouth to tell him off in language that would have made Emmett proud, but Esme beat me to it.

“Edward, I don’t feel comfortable lying to Charlie,” she said hesitantly. I very nearly gaped at her--the number of times she’d spoken out against Edward were in the low single digits. “He’s a good man and a good friend to Carlisle and I, and as a parent, I don’t like the idea of holding his daughter hostage and telling him that she’s here as a free guest. It’s not right, and I won’t be part of it, either. And I think you owe Rose an apology, reminding her of what she’s been through.”

My admiration of my foster mother increased tenfold with every word, and I smiled triumphantly at Edward as he stood there, blinking foolishly as if he couldn’t understand a word of what she’d just said.

“Alice,” he said, turning to her. I glanced at her and saw that she’d stopped prancing and was now staring past Edward, a slight furrow between her dainty eyebrows. She didn’t look nearly as enthusiastic as before, which gave me hope.

“Alice, Bella is your best friend,” he said gently, as if he were talking to a child. “Don’t you want to spend some quality time with her over the weekend? I’ll buy you a new car if you bring her here. I promise, any car you’d like, it’s yours.”

She scrutinized him for a moment, glanced first at Esme and then at me, and pursed her lips. After a few seconds of contemplation, she nodded resolutely as if she’d reached a decision.

“No,” she said simply. “If I want Bella to come over, I can always call her. It won’t be as much fun if she doesn’t want to be here.”

Edward was not one to be easily deterred, and I ground my teeth as he drew himself up to his full height, trying to tower over Alice.

“Alice, this is for her own good,” he said, his tone less cajoling. “Young werewolves are very dangerous, and--”

I snorted, not caring how unladylike it sounded. “And you’re the equivalent of a panic room, Mr. ‘Stay away from me, human, or I’ll drink your blood like cheap champagne?’ Pot calling the kettle, don’t you think?”

Alice giggled and Esme only “tsk”ed at me. Edward flared his nostrils at me.

“This is completely different! I would never do anything to hurt Bella, but that dog--”

“Bella spent plenty of time around Jacob and his pack last year without incident,” Esme cut in, hands on her hips. “I don’t see why Jacob should pose a significant threat to her now. And I think this is more about you not wanting Bella around Jacob, rather than you being worried for her safety.”

I nodded emphatically. “You can’t say you’re not the jealous type, Edward. And kidnapping your girlfriend and holding her hostage isn’t going to prove otherwise.”

He looked from me to Esme to Alice and back with frustration and rage in his face, which only made him look like a small boy being denied a treat. Emmett was right, I thought--he really was the most immature of us all. And yet we spoiled him rotten.

Well, not this time.

When he realized that we weren’t about to change our minds, he spun around on his heel and raced towards the library, where I could hear him knocking over shelves. I rolled my eyes. Alice frowned, shrugged, and skipped over to the computer to continue her online shopping spree.

“You’re cleaning up that mess once you’re done!” Esme called after Edward.

End

Comments

[elementallove.livejournal.com]

I love it! Yay for Rosalie and Esme standing up to Edward. You did a good job of keeping them all in character, too.

[thebitterend327.livejournal.com]

This was so satisfying to read. The last line amused me greatly for some reason. It's also nice to see someone respecting Charlie for once.

[quicksilvermad.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU.

[ts-wing.livejournal.com]

Ha! In your face, Meyer!

And Eddo? Kiss my bony ass. *smacks it*

*applauds and throws roses at your feet*

Bravo!

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

So awesome! I can't believe you managed to keep them that much IC and still do that. :-D Well done!

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

This is amazing! It's kind of sad that your versions of Rosalie and Esme care more about Charlie than Bella does, but it's still satisfying to see them turn Edward down. :)

[kermit-thefrog.livejournal.com]

Thank you, everybody!!!

I love giving the vampire women backbones and reminding Edward that he can't always have his way. Because he so doesn't deserve it.

[southerngaelic.livejournal.com]

Now THIS is an Esme I can get behind: someone fairly domestic and maternal and sweet, but still firm in a gentle way and not letting Wardo get away with anything.

[melissatreglia]

Beautiful! I love how the normally quiet Esme stands up to him, and Alice realizes having Bella over when Bella wants would be more fun. And even SMeyer couldn't spoil Rosalie's awesome.