Spitefic: Amputee Bella
Jan. 25th, 2011 02:15 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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twispiteficTitle: Amputee Bella
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
gehayi
Fandom(s): Twilight (1st book)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 790
Summary: Edward was determined to save Bella from the effects of James' venom. Now Bella has to deal with the fallout...for the rest of her life.
Inspiration: Written in response to a commentdas_mervin made in chapter twenty-three about how the only way Bella would have been saved from the vampire venom changing her would be to cut her arm off.
I woke in the hospital feeling as if my right arm were being stabbed by a thousand white-hot knives. I tried to move it to see what was wrong, but it wouldn’t move. Finally I turned my head to the right, bracing myself for something bad, but fundamentally fixable.
What I did not expect to see was part of an arm.
It was tightly bandaged, had an IV running into it, and ended at what should have been my elbow. I stared at it, not wanting to believe what I was seeing. Struggling to convince myself that this was a dream, I forced myself to touch what was left—and howled with pain.
“It shouldn’t hurt that much.”
I turned to my left to find Edward sitting by my bedside, looking perplexed.
I didn’t want him here. I wanted my father and mother. I wanted them to hug me,comfort me and tell me that everything was going to be all right. I did not want to see a inhumanly handsome vampire here. His cold, statue-like beauty—his wholeness—just made me feel uglier by comparison. Angry, too, though I wasn’t sure why.
He didn’t notice. He just kept monologuing. “Your arm shouldn’t hurt. Carlisle gave you morphine.”
I was allergic to morphine. But I didn’t want to focus on Carlisle’s incompetence at shooting me full of an opiate when modern medicine had less dangerous painkillers available. I only cared about one thing. “What happened?”
“It had to be done,” Edward mumbled. “There was no other choice. James’s venom—”
“His venom did this?” My voice was rising. “Why didn’t you tell me that vampire venom could maim people?”
He winced. “It doesn’t. Really, what’s happened is hardly noticeable. You still look perfect. Maybe more so. It’s as if you got a wart removed.”
“An arm is not a wart, you fucking asshole!” I spat. “What. Happened?”
“I tried to suck James’s venom out,” he said, the picture of stony misery. “But it didn’t work. My mouth is just as venomous as his. I couldn’t get the poison out of you. It was seeping into your bloodstream, changing you, stealing your soul—I couldn’t allow that.”
I felt as if I was about to be violently sick. “You son of a bitch, you chopped off my arm!”
“I had to,” he protested, still looking nauseatingly perfect. I glared at him, wishing that I could crush his stony flesh with a steam roller so that he’d know what it felt like to be broken beyond repair. “I couldn’t allow you to be damned, Bella.”
“So you decided to mutilate me instead,” I snarled. “You idiot, didn’t it occur to you to ASK me what I wanted done? Did you think that I wanted to be stuck in a maimed body for the rest of my life—maybe for the rest of eternity? Didn’t you think that I had the right to choose for myself?”
His expression said it all. He hadn’t thought about it for a single second. My wishes hadn’t mattered. Only his had. And that was the way it would be forever.
“Get out of here,” I said, hating the fact that my voice was shaking. I was not going to cry in front of the bastard who’d maimed me. “I never want to see you again. Never. And if you break into my house to see me, so help me, I’ll—I’ll take a one-handed sledgehammer to your face and then break your legs off at the knees!”
His face took on that paternalistic smile I’d grown so familiar with. It had once been comforting. Now it just looked arrogant. “You’ll understand that it was for the best. Alice said so.”
“Alice,” I said, biting off each word, “is wrong. And she’s about as psychic as that chair you’re sitting in. She never predicted that I’d hate you, did she?”
“But—I love you,” he said, as if trying to make sense of all this. “I saved your soul.”
“I don’t believe in souls. Or Heaven. Though,” I glanced at my missing arm, “there is a Hell. And you flung me in there. Forever. Now. Go.” I tried to lift my right arm to point him toward the door, realized belatedly that I couldn’t, and switched to the left one.
He left, glancing back at me in bewilderment.
Once he was gone, I lay down, thoughts racing around in my head. Vampires who weren’t the Cullens still wanted to kill me. My parents didn’t know where I was. I was—now and forever—an amputee. And the man whom I’d thought I’d loved had maimed me for life.
Closing my eyes, I burst into ugly, choking sobs.
Author:
gehayiFandom(s): Twilight (1st book)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 790
Summary: Edward was determined to save Bella from the effects of James' venom. Now Bella has to deal with the fallout...for the rest of her life.
Inspiration: Written in response to a comment
das_mervin made in chapter twenty-three about how the only way Bella would have been saved from the vampire venom changing her would be to cut her arm off.I woke in the hospital feeling as if my right arm were being stabbed by a thousand white-hot knives. I tried to move it to see what was wrong, but it wouldn’t move. Finally I turned my head to the right, bracing myself for something bad, but fundamentally fixable.
What I did not expect to see was part of an arm.
It was tightly bandaged, had an IV running into it, and ended at what should have been my elbow. I stared at it, not wanting to believe what I was seeing. Struggling to convince myself that this was a dream, I forced myself to touch what was left—and howled with pain.
“It shouldn’t hurt that much.”
I turned to my left to find Edward sitting by my bedside, looking perplexed.
I didn’t want him here. I wanted my father and mother. I wanted them to hug me,comfort me and tell me that everything was going to be all right. I did not want to see a inhumanly handsome vampire here. His cold, statue-like beauty—his wholeness—just made me feel uglier by comparison. Angry, too, though I wasn’t sure why.
He didn’t notice. He just kept monologuing. “Your arm shouldn’t hurt. Carlisle gave you morphine.”
I was allergic to morphine. But I didn’t want to focus on Carlisle’s incompetence at shooting me full of an opiate when modern medicine had less dangerous painkillers available. I only cared about one thing. “What happened?”
“It had to be done,” Edward mumbled. “There was no other choice. James’s venom—”
“His venom did this?” My voice was rising. “Why didn’t you tell me that vampire venom could maim people?”
He winced. “It doesn’t. Really, what’s happened is hardly noticeable. You still look perfect. Maybe more so. It’s as if you got a wart removed.”
“An arm is not a wart, you fucking asshole!” I spat. “What. Happened?”
“I tried to suck James’s venom out,” he said, the picture of stony misery. “But it didn’t work. My mouth is just as venomous as his. I couldn’t get the poison out of you. It was seeping into your bloodstream, changing you, stealing your soul—I couldn’t allow that.”
I felt as if I was about to be violently sick. “You son of a bitch, you chopped off my arm!”
“I had to,” he protested, still looking nauseatingly perfect. I glared at him, wishing that I could crush his stony flesh with a steam roller so that he’d know what it felt like to be broken beyond repair. “I couldn’t allow you to be damned, Bella.”
“So you decided to mutilate me instead,” I snarled. “You idiot, didn’t it occur to you to ASK me what I wanted done? Did you think that I wanted to be stuck in a maimed body for the rest of my life—maybe for the rest of eternity? Didn’t you think that I had the right to choose for myself?”
His expression said it all. He hadn’t thought about it for a single second. My wishes hadn’t mattered. Only his had. And that was the way it would be forever.
“Get out of here,” I said, hating the fact that my voice was shaking. I was not going to cry in front of the bastard who’d maimed me. “I never want to see you again. Never. And if you break into my house to see me, so help me, I’ll—I’ll take a one-handed sledgehammer to your face and then break your legs off at the knees!”
His face took on that paternalistic smile I’d grown so familiar with. It had once been comforting. Now it just looked arrogant. “You’ll understand that it was for the best. Alice said so.”
“Alice,” I said, biting off each word, “is wrong. And she’s about as psychic as that chair you’re sitting in. She never predicted that I’d hate you, did she?”
“But—I love you,” he said, as if trying to make sense of all this. “I saved your soul.”
“I don’t believe in souls. Or Heaven. Though,” I glanced at my missing arm, “there is a Hell. And you flung me in there. Forever. Now. Go.” I tried to lift my right arm to point him toward the door, realized belatedly that I couldn’t, and switched to the left one.
He left, glancing back at me in bewilderment.
Once he was gone, I lay down, thoughts racing around in my head. Vampires who weren’t the Cullens still wanted to kill me. My parents didn’t know where I was. I was—now and forever—an amputee. And the man whom I’d thought I’d loved had maimed me for life.
Closing my eyes, I burst into ugly, choking sobs.
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