Spitefic: In Memoriam
Jan. 25th, 2011 06:34 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
gehayi.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
twispiteficTitle: In Memoriam
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
gehayi
Fandom(s): New Moon
Rating: G
Word Count: 1,486
Summary: Jacob Black doesn't appreciate being considered a monster or a murderer. He appreciates Bella's double standard for vampires even less.
Chapter Inspiration: Chapter 13 – Killer
Author’s Note: Seriously, you know it’s bad when the characters are calling out the authorial avatar on her massive, hypocritical double standard.
***
He took two steps toward me, leaning over me and glaring with fury. “Well, I’m so sorry that I can’t be the right kind of monster for you, Bella. I guess I’m just not as great as a bloodsucker, am I?”
I jumped to my feet and glared back. “No, you’re not!” I shouted. “It’s not what you are, stupid, it’s what you do!”
Jacob clenched his fists. “I see. My turning into a wolf against my will is completely unacceptable to you. Well, guess what, Bella? It’s no great thrill for me either. But I have to live with it, because it’s not going to go away just because I don’t like it. I have to learn to cope with it. I don’t have a choice.”
“That’s not what I meant!” I shouted. “I was talking about you killing people!”
If he’d been furious before, he was furious and shocked now. “Why the fuck would you think that I’d been killing people?”
“Well...there are werewolves. In the woods. And people have been dying—”
Jacob gazed at me with incredulous disgust in his eyes. “Just how stupid are you?”
“I thought you were part of a cult!” I yelled at him. “I thought that Sam had become...I don’t know, a religious leader or something that you and all the boys were following--”
“Which would make sense if I’d started showing a sudden interest in religion. Did I? No. I said that Sam was helping me with some issues that were private. How the hell does ‘helping me with issues that I don’t want to talk about’ translate to ‘Sam is an insane cult leader of werewolves, and Jacob is his willing follower’?”
“I was worried about you!” I didn’t bother to explain why I’d thought that he was a killer. I figured that was obvious.
“And I’m guessing you forgot the Quileute legend as well. The one that says that werewolves aren’t mindless killers; they were created to fight the Cold Ones. You know. Vampires. Because if you’d remembered that for two seconds, you might have realized that werewolves have been patrolling the woods for a reason.”
When I looked blank, he sighed. “There are vampires around here. Not...residents, either. They’re vicious and they’re hungry and they’re killing people--the ones that they don’t Turn. We’re guarding the woods--and the streets, as best we can--but there are a lot of woods. And a lot of human hunters. Your dad among them. We’re trying to keep them safe. But it’s not easy. Sometimes they slip through. And then people die.” He turned toward me then, dark eyes blazing with rage. “And you’ve got the nerve to jump to the conclusion that we’re the killers. Even after you met one of the vampires when we were chasing him!”
It had seemed logical. I just didn’t know how to explain why it had.
“I don’t know what galls me more,” he continued, staring up at the sky. “The fact that you instantly jumped to the conclusion that of course I was killing people—because, after all, that’s what animals do, right, and what’s a werewolf but an animal?—or the fact that you’d have been perfectly okay with me killing people if I were a vampire. You just said so yourself--I’m just not as great as a bloodsucker. Not a bloodsucker who doesn’t drink human blood, even. Just...any old vampire.”
“I didn’t mean that!” I protested. “And the Cullens don’t kill people!”
“But they have,” he said softly. “Because vampires go crazy when they’re first Turned; there’s no control at all, just hunger. So all of them have killed at least once. Probably more than once. They haven’t all been with Carlisle from the beginning, after all. They had to be eating something. Or someone. Edward’s even warned you that he could kill you, hasn’t he? Probably dozens of times.”
“That’s different,” I retorted. “They’re...they’re just doing what’s natural for them. It’s...reasonable...” My voice trailed away as I saw him glaring at me in utter contempt.
“Reasonable. Killing people is reasonable. And natural. If you’re a vampire, that is. If you’re a werewolf, you’re shit out of luck.”
“Jacob, that’s not true! When I saw you sleeping…” My eyes filled with convenient tears. “I felt so sorry for you and for all the pain the killing must have been causing you. And I knew then that I cared about you, because as awful as what you were doing was, I felt that it was all right. I accepted you as you are.”
Jacob’s lips were pressed tightly together. He looked as if he was struggling not to vomit. “You didn’t ‘accept me as I am,’ Bella. You still haven’t accepted what werewolves are. We aren’t fur-covered vampires. We don’t prey on humanity. We’re defenders of humanity…even though,” and his face twisted as if in pain, “we’re not human any more.
“But leaving that aside. You talked about my pain—the pain you imagined that I was suffering because you believed I was committing murder. Did you spare one thought for the pain of my supposed victims?”
“Yes! When Charlie started hunting--”
“But the killings have been going on for months, Bella. Lots of humans have died. Not people you knew, but people just the same.”
“I don’t care about them!” I snapped. “I mean, I’m sorry they died...but their deaths don’t really matter all that much, do they?”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Their lives and deaths mattered to them. They were people. They deserved better than to have all of the blood sucked out of their body and to feel their brains and organs dying because suddenly there was no blood, no fuel, no oxygen. They shouldn’t have been bitten and clawed so badly that forensic scientists would think that they’d been the victims of a bear attack. They didn’t deserve—”
“Okay! I get it!”
“No. You don’t get it.” He drew closer, and for the first time I realized that he was gazing at the top of my head—literally looking down on me. “If werewolves are involved, you think it’s murder unless you know the werewolf. Then you’re prepared to be magnanimous. Not that a mere animal deserves your mercy, but you’re prepared, anyway. And if a vampire is involved--well, that’s just natural, according to you. You don’t consider the morality of it any more than you think about the identity of a cow that became a McDonald’s cheeseburger.
“And you worship so strongly at the Church of the Holy Exsanguination that you’re never going to see the killing of humans by vampires as wrong. Werewolves—who don’t even go after humans, as a rule—we make good scapegoats, don’t we? It never once crossed your mind, did it, that the killers might have been vampires? Even though you’ve spent a lot of time hanging around with vampires. Or that a lot of the activity is near the woods where you live.
“You never thought to ask why the werewolves have been prowling in the woods. You just assumed that we were kill-crazy monsters with no consciences. And then you forgave me for that.”
“Are-are you going to stop the patrols near my house?” I asked, my voice shaking.
He looked at me in surprise for a long moment. “Haven’t you been listening? We protect human life. It’s like being a cop--you don’t have to like the people who are alive to know that they need to be protected. And it’s gotta be the same rule for everyone, Sam says.
“So yeah. There will still be patrols. We’ll try to keep Victoria and her allies and her fledglings at bay; they could hurt a lot of people right now.”
He took a deep breath. “But as for the friendship--or whatever the hell it was--that’s over. Don’t come to La Push. Don’t come to my house. Don’t call me or my dad. Don’t ask me to do anything for you. It’s not going to happen. I don’t want to be friends with someone who assumes that I’m a murderer and then decides that murder is perfectly all right if a friend or a vampire commits it. Someone who thinks like that isn’t a friend. And I don’t need that shit. Not from you, not from anybody.”
And with that, he turned and began walking away.
I didn’t understand three-quarters of what he was complaining about, but I couldn’t just let him go that way. “Jacob! Jacob, wait! We can work this out--”
He didn’t stop. He didn’t look back. He didn’t even seem to hear me calling him. He simply kept walking in the direction of La Push, walking steadily until he was out of sight.
For as long as I lived--and even after that--I never saw Jacob Black again.
Author:
gehayiFandom(s): New Moon
Rating: G
Word Count: 1,486
Summary: Jacob Black doesn't appreciate being considered a monster or a murderer. He appreciates Bella's double standard for vampires even less.
Chapter Inspiration: Chapter 13 – Killer
Author’s Note: Seriously, you know it’s bad when the characters are calling out the authorial avatar on her massive, hypocritical double standard.
***
He took two steps toward me, leaning over me and glaring with fury. “Well, I’m so sorry that I can’t be the right kind of monster for you, Bella. I guess I’m just not as great as a bloodsucker, am I?”
I jumped to my feet and glared back. “No, you’re not!” I shouted. “It’s not what you are, stupid, it’s what you do!”
Jacob clenched his fists. “I see. My turning into a wolf against my will is completely unacceptable to you. Well, guess what, Bella? It’s no great thrill for me either. But I have to live with it, because it’s not going to go away just because I don’t like it. I have to learn to cope with it. I don’t have a choice.”
“That’s not what I meant!” I shouted. “I was talking about you killing people!”
If he’d been furious before, he was furious and shocked now. “Why the fuck would you think that I’d been killing people?”
“Well...there are werewolves. In the woods. And people have been dying—”
Jacob gazed at me with incredulous disgust in his eyes. “Just how stupid are you?”
“I thought you were part of a cult!” I yelled at him. “I thought that Sam had become...I don’t know, a religious leader or something that you and all the boys were following--”
“Which would make sense if I’d started showing a sudden interest in religion. Did I? No. I said that Sam was helping me with some issues that were private. How the hell does ‘helping me with issues that I don’t want to talk about’ translate to ‘Sam is an insane cult leader of werewolves, and Jacob is his willing follower’?”
“I was worried about you!” I didn’t bother to explain why I’d thought that he was a killer. I figured that was obvious.
“And I’m guessing you forgot the Quileute legend as well. The one that says that werewolves aren’t mindless killers; they were created to fight the Cold Ones. You know. Vampires. Because if you’d remembered that for two seconds, you might have realized that werewolves have been patrolling the woods for a reason.”
When I looked blank, he sighed. “There are vampires around here. Not...residents, either. They’re vicious and they’re hungry and they’re killing people--the ones that they don’t Turn. We’re guarding the woods--and the streets, as best we can--but there are a lot of woods. And a lot of human hunters. Your dad among them. We’re trying to keep them safe. But it’s not easy. Sometimes they slip through. And then people die.” He turned toward me then, dark eyes blazing with rage. “And you’ve got the nerve to jump to the conclusion that we’re the killers. Even after you met one of the vampires when we were chasing him!”
It had seemed logical. I just didn’t know how to explain why it had.
“I don’t know what galls me more,” he continued, staring up at the sky. “The fact that you instantly jumped to the conclusion that of course I was killing people—because, after all, that’s what animals do, right, and what’s a werewolf but an animal?—or the fact that you’d have been perfectly okay with me killing people if I were a vampire. You just said so yourself--I’m just not as great as a bloodsucker. Not a bloodsucker who doesn’t drink human blood, even. Just...any old vampire.”
“I didn’t mean that!” I protested. “And the Cullens don’t kill people!”
“But they have,” he said softly. “Because vampires go crazy when they’re first Turned; there’s no control at all, just hunger. So all of them have killed at least once. Probably more than once. They haven’t all been with Carlisle from the beginning, after all. They had to be eating something. Or someone. Edward’s even warned you that he could kill you, hasn’t he? Probably dozens of times.”
“That’s different,” I retorted. “They’re...they’re just doing what’s natural for them. It’s...reasonable...” My voice trailed away as I saw him glaring at me in utter contempt.
“Reasonable. Killing people is reasonable. And natural. If you’re a vampire, that is. If you’re a werewolf, you’re shit out of luck.”
“Jacob, that’s not true! When I saw you sleeping…” My eyes filled with convenient tears. “I felt so sorry for you and for all the pain the killing must have been causing you. And I knew then that I cared about you, because as awful as what you were doing was, I felt that it was all right. I accepted you as you are.”
Jacob’s lips were pressed tightly together. He looked as if he was struggling not to vomit. “You didn’t ‘accept me as I am,’ Bella. You still haven’t accepted what werewolves are. We aren’t fur-covered vampires. We don’t prey on humanity. We’re defenders of humanity…even though,” and his face twisted as if in pain, “we’re not human any more.
“But leaving that aside. You talked about my pain—the pain you imagined that I was suffering because you believed I was committing murder. Did you spare one thought for the pain of my supposed victims?”
“Yes! When Charlie started hunting--”
“But the killings have been going on for months, Bella. Lots of humans have died. Not people you knew, but people just the same.”
“I don’t care about them!” I snapped. “I mean, I’m sorry they died...but their deaths don’t really matter all that much, do they?”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Their lives and deaths mattered to them. They were people. They deserved better than to have all of the blood sucked out of their body and to feel their brains and organs dying because suddenly there was no blood, no fuel, no oxygen. They shouldn’t have been bitten and clawed so badly that forensic scientists would think that they’d been the victims of a bear attack. They didn’t deserve—”
“Okay! I get it!”
“No. You don’t get it.” He drew closer, and for the first time I realized that he was gazing at the top of my head—literally looking down on me. “If werewolves are involved, you think it’s murder unless you know the werewolf. Then you’re prepared to be magnanimous. Not that a mere animal deserves your mercy, but you’re prepared, anyway. And if a vampire is involved--well, that’s just natural, according to you. You don’t consider the morality of it any more than you think about the identity of a cow that became a McDonald’s cheeseburger.
“And you worship so strongly at the Church of the Holy Exsanguination that you’re never going to see the killing of humans by vampires as wrong. Werewolves—who don’t even go after humans, as a rule—we make good scapegoats, don’t we? It never once crossed your mind, did it, that the killers might have been vampires? Even though you’ve spent a lot of time hanging around with vampires. Or that a lot of the activity is near the woods where you live.
“You never thought to ask why the werewolves have been prowling in the woods. You just assumed that we were kill-crazy monsters with no consciences. And then you forgave me for that.”
“Are-are you going to stop the patrols near my house?” I asked, my voice shaking.
He looked at me in surprise for a long moment. “Haven’t you been listening? We protect human life. It’s like being a cop--you don’t have to like the people who are alive to know that they need to be protected. And it’s gotta be the same rule for everyone, Sam says.
“So yeah. There will still be patrols. We’ll try to keep Victoria and her allies and her fledglings at bay; they could hurt a lot of people right now.”
He took a deep breath. “But as for the friendship--or whatever the hell it was--that’s over. Don’t come to La Push. Don’t come to my house. Don’t call me or my dad. Don’t ask me to do anything for you. It’s not going to happen. I don’t want to be friends with someone who assumes that I’m a murderer and then decides that murder is perfectly all right if a friend or a vampire commits it. Someone who thinks like that isn’t a friend. And I don’t need that shit. Not from you, not from anybody.”
And with that, he turned and began walking away.
I didn’t understand three-quarters of what he was complaining about, but I couldn’t just let him go that way. “Jacob! Jacob, wait! We can work this out--”
He didn’t stop. He didn’t look back. He didn’t even seem to hear me calling him. He simply kept walking in the direction of La Push, walking steadily until he was out of sight.
For as long as I lived--and even after that--I never saw Jacob Black again.
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