twispitefic

    Title: Houseguest
    Author: kermit_thefrog
    Fandom: Twilight Saga
    Rating: PG
    Word Count: 1,596
    Inspiration: Eclipse, specifically the chapter where Alice holds Bella hostage at the Cullen house all weekend.
    Summary: Rosalie has a few comments to make about Bella's manners.
   Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is welcome to these characters. I'm only using them to make points.

Houseguest

Rosalie’s POV

I watched her all night, while Alice danced attendance on Her Royal Bacon-ness, keeping a firm control on every facial muscle to keep from sneering outright at her.

I had tried to talk Edward out of locking her away in our home all weekend. Her father was a cop, I kept reminding him. Werewolves were not immune to bullets, if that’s what he was so worried about. Frankly, the whole ploy stank of Edward wanting to keep his precious Bella away from her furry suitor, even if it meant interrupting a weekend I had planned to spend attending an auto-repair seminar at the local community college. Not to mention a weekend Emmett and I could have spent together, getting up to things that made Edward unable to look us in the eye the rest of the day (which was half the fun, really.)

But, no. Whatever darling Edward wanted, he got. Just like Alice. And as much as I love Emmett, he never could resist the opportunity to “wrassle” anything with fur and fangs, so I let him go on their little trip as long as he promised to think lewd thoughts about me the entire time, just to get Edward’s goat.

That, however, wasn’t nearly enough to comfort me when Bella showed up. With all the complaining she’d done, even calling Edward “controlling” and “psychotic” (and who could argue? If Emmett tried something like that with me, we wouldn’t be having sex for months) you’d think she would have finally put a foot down and called her father to pick her up and take her home.

Instead, Bella lapped it right up, keeping a very convincing scowl on her face the whole time. She griped under her breath while Alice indulged her in a pedicure (using a tasteless shade of blood red polish—really, where did she buy her cosmetics?) and all through her dinner of pasta, which Esme served up to her on our best china as if she was royalty.

The entire time, not a single “Thank you” passed her lips. She mumbled, sighed, and protested lamely, but never did she actively say “Enough” or “Stop this at once.” I tried to escape to the garage, but Esme turned me right around and told me to “entertain Bella,” pointing firmly to the chair nearest her.

I endured as much of Bella’s ingratitude as I could manage without snapping a chair arm off, and when she said she was going to bed early, I sighed with relief. Finally, I could get back to my car.

Alice showed her upstairs, and I fled to the peaceful atmosphere of the garage. I cranked up the radio (to hell with the noise, I was happy if it kept dearest Bella from getting her beauty sleep) and popped the hood of my car, glad to get my hands greasy and sing along to ELO while I checked fluid levels and cleaned out the air filter.

It was only when I straightened up to put a can of motor oil away that I came nose-to-nose (well, more like nose-to-forehead, given our height difference) with Alice. I jumped back, startled, and she skipped daintily out of the way of the oil that splashed from the can to the floor.

“Hello, Rose,” she chirped, perching herself on the counter like a bird in a frilly dress. “Mind if I turn this down?” Her fingers hovered over the radio.

I scowled at her, capping the oil and stowing it in the cabinet below her feet.

“I like this song,” I said, which didn’t stop her turning the dial all the way down to nearly inaudible. She shook her head patronizingly at me, a mannerism I knew she’d picked up from Edward.

“Bella is trying to sleep upstairs,” she chided me. “She needs it, even though we don’t, and Edward wouldn’t want her to be sleep-deprived, now would he?”

I made a face at her, turning back to the far more interesting contents of my engine.

“Does she really have to stay for the entire weekend?” I said. “She’s clearly not enjoying herself, and it’s a pain to try and keep her entertained when she’s having none of it.”

Alice giggled, for no apparent reason, and I rolled my eyes out of habit.

“She’s just being silly,” she said breezily. “I checked in on here a few minutes ago, and she’s actually sleeping on Edward’s couch, even though the bed’s right there for her. Ridiculous.”

My lips went tight, my spine went rigid, and I slapped the cap down on the engine so abruptly that the entire car creaked under the impact.

“Is she,” I said through gritted teeth. I couldn’t say exactly why, but the image of that spoiled little person stubbornly refusing to sleep in our very comfortable, very expensive bed that we’d bought specifically for her tiny little ass was the undoing of all my patience, such as it was.

I closed the hood carefully, not wanting to dent it in my rage. I threw a remaining dirty rag at Alice, ignoring her disgusted squeal as I marched out of the garage, up the stairs to the porch, through the doors and up the stairs to Edward’s room.

The door was already open, and I saw Bella curled up on Edward’s couch, wrapped in the gold coverlet like an Egyptian queen.

I strode up to her side, grabbed the folds of the coverlet in my hands, and yanked. Hard.

The shriek she gave as she flipped over the side was quite satisfying, but I had only just begun.

“So,” I said, as she tried to scramble to her feet, but only succeeded in entangling herself further in the blanket. “You don’t want to be here? Fine. I’ll call your father and he can pick you up tonight.”

She blinked up at me, bewildered. “Rose! You don’t have to do that. Edward wants—”

“I don’t give a damn what Edward wants!” I snapped. “You are a very rude houseguest! And I know a thing or two about manners, because I was well brought up. Clearly, you were not. The way you’ve behaved since Alice brought you here has been reprehensible! If you didn’t have Esme wrapped around your finger, she would have said something herself!”

Bella stared at me, slack-jawed. I resisted the urge to be catty and tell her how unattractive it was. No sense stooping to her own level.

“But—but—Alice and Esme want me here!” she said, managing this time to get to her feet. “I don’t want to hurt their feelings!”

I laughed outright at that one. “Like you didn’t mean to hurt Esme’s feelings when she made you dinner and received no thanks for it? Like you didn’t want to hurt Alice’s feelings when she gave you that pedicure? Like you didn’t want to offend any of us by refusing to sleep in the bed we bought you?”

The little brat’s chin actually went up defiantly. What was it about this girl that she always showed spirit at precisely the wrong times?

“I didn’t ask for that,” she said with a sniff. “You didn’t have to buy that—thing for me.”

I could feel my eyebrows—and, had I still been human, probably my blood pressure--rising as I stared at her.

“You. Ungrateful. Little. Bitch.” I said, relishing the warm feeling it gave me to finally say the words to her face. “None of us sleep anymore, you know that. And we go out of our way—as you can see—to accommodate you by buying food and furniture that none of us actually need, and rather than say ‘Why thank you for thinking of my needs,’ you complain and throw it right back in our faces. Is this how you’re going to be until Edward turns you—just a whining little brat who hates it when people do things for her?”

Bella’s face had gone even paler when she heard me use the ‘B’ word. “Rosalie! No! I—it’s just that I never asked you for any of this, and—”

I threw my hands into the air and growled in frustration, glad when the noise made her take a step back.

“Esme and Carlisle are trying to treat you as if you’re family! And family accommodates each other, just like what we were trying to do here tonight. Do you think we bought you a bed and food just to irritate you?”

She opened her mouth, gaped a bit, then closed it. I couldn’t describe the immense satisfaction I felt knowing that I’d rendered her speechless.

“If you simply can’t stand to sleep in a guest bed,” I said coldly, “then don’t worry. I’ll have Alice drive you home and you can sleep in your own bed tonight. I’m sure she won’t mind staying over at your house, instead of you staying here.”

Bella blinked rapidly. “But if Jacob—”

“I hardly think Wolf-Boy will be bringing his entire posse by your house,” I sniffed. “And Alice may act like a wind-up toy, but she’s tougher than she looks. She can deal with any rogue werewolves, and Esme and I are only a phone call away in case there’s real trouble.”

She actually looked surprised.

“What’s the matter?” I said, cocking my head satirically to the side. “You thought just because we’re females, we’re completely helpless?”

I turned on my heel and strode out the door, ready to deal with Esme and Alice next.